A truly one of a kind artist, Claire has been working in the photography industry for years, from shooting weddings to capturing newborns. If you’re a fan of authentic and tender moments captured and preserved forever on film, then sit back and enjoy our conversation throughout her career and artistic journey.

Can you start off by introducing yourself?

A little bit about myself. Well first, I’m a mom. I have two little kids. We live on a small farm in Ontario. I’ve been shooting since high school, for like, 20 years. I started on film because my parents still had a film camera. They gave it to me and I took a film class. I loved it because back then we still had teachers that would do darkroom stuff with us. And that’s the most thrilling part! Then I went to school to become a midwife, and I did that for a little while but then it just was not for me. I ended up switching completely over to photography and taking on clients, and that’s when I started my business. I would say I’m still polishing my voice. Finessing it. But I would say it took a good 6-7 years to speak in my voice in my job with my clients. That really helped give me a niche market. I took all those people that liked what I did and took them into film with me. So now I only do film photography with my clients; families and weddings and all that kind of stuff. On the other side I have my conceptual artwork which can be both digital and film.

What do your clients think of you being film only? Do they understand the limitations of working with film?

Yes, they are pretty educated these days which is really nice. The ones who’ve known me, I’ve been bringing different film cameras to different shoots for decades. So those who have shot with me know that about me. And I would often share those film images with them even if it was just a handful. I’ve certainly lost some along the way but I knew I was going to lose them and that’s okay. Because I wasn’t gonna give them what they wanted anyway, so that’s good. I would say for the most part they are very well educated and because people are so quick on trends on Instagram people want film because they want the grainy look, which drives me a little bonkers, but anyways. So they often specifically want film to achieve that texture. And then shooting in film is a whole different pace. I’m definitely a different shooter, like the content is different. The pace, the vibe, it’s all different. So that’s attractive to some people too.

Do you have one main film camera with which you shoot your client work, or do you have a buffet of cameras you like to choose from?

At the moment, I have two. I have the Pentax 67 [our review of this camera can be seen here]. Man, it’s a tank but I love it so much. I’ve played around with other ones, like the Mamiya C330. That was beautiful too. That’s a twin lens though, and it was just slowing me down a bit. But it was beautiful. I am happy with the Pentax.

I’m not a big gear head. So I tend to stick with a camera for a few years until I meet a bunch of people and use their cameras and realize they work better. I rarely go research cameras. I forget who said it, but “the best camera is the camera you have.” I do try to make my cameras work that way.

The 35mm I use is the Nikon F100 [our review of this camera can be seen here]. It’s a really nice camera. I like it a lot. I also got the Canon EOS3 because someone I admire was using it, but I kind of had nothing but trouble with it. I need to play with it more but I haven’t had the time. I hate wasting film trying to figure out problems. So those are my two main film cameras I use. If I’m doing my conceptual work I just use the Pentax.

And what digital camera do you use?

I am going to ride my Nikon D700 until it dies [our review of this camera can be seen here]. It’s funny because I’m so old. When I shot a lot of weddings I had two. So when I stopped doing those, I sold the second body and just kept one for this and that. And now with mirrorless it’s like I’m an elderly person now with my digital gear. It happened so quickly. Now there’s no point in selling this. So I’m just going to run it into the ground. But I do love it. I’m used to it. It’s like an extension of my body. This is the second shutter on it. And I have a bunch of other cameras, too. Like personally I like using the Canon AE-1 Program [our review of this camera can be seen here] when I’m just out and about, it’s low profile and does a nice job. And then I have a bunch of fun cameras like Lomo cameras and different instant cameras, just to play with.

Do you remember your first film camera?

You know? I don’t. It was a Minolta. I know, and it had a mickey mouse neck strap from my dad, which I still have! I’ve asked him but we can’t remember what camera it was. We just didn’t think that way back then. It just was like, here is a camera. Perfect. I ended up giving it to a friend, so I don’t know where it is anymore. But I do have a soft spot for it. It did a good job.

You don’t shoot weddings anymore. Why is that?

Yeah, I don’t do the same kind of weddings. Like I used to do the BIG weddings and I like Love, I’m all in support of Love. But I’m so jaded by weddings. They’re horrible. I’ve shot many, many, many weddings for a decade and the last couple years I was running my business I only took on micro-weddings, which are now a big thing but five years ago weren’t. But I love those, those are totally up my alley. They’re slower, they’re smaller. So I’ll still do those. I even did a few last year actually. But I don’t advertise it.

You just got burnt out on the big wedding structure?

Yeah, all the hype. I”m all about authenticity. And I’m not saying a wedding isn’t authentic. But people can often lose sight of what is actually happening on a wedding day which is Love and a celebration of Love, and it just turns into this big Instagramable event and I don’t like that. I have friends who are still wedding photographers and they’re just made to do it. They’re pumped, they’re always super excited, they love Love, they cry at every wedding. So they’re great, some people are just built for it. But it was a stretch for me. I’m glad I did it though, it was fun. But I’m happy that chapter is closed.

Beyond your clients, what keeps you shooting film?

I like the pace. I like how it slows me down. I like the challenge. The technical challenge, and the artistic challenge of capturing in the fraction of the frames you would on digital. I really enjoy that challenge. I also love that you really have to surrender with film. You can’t check the back of the camera to see if you got it. So it’s very freeing.

A photographer whom I saw at a workshop said “Film will set you free.” I didn’t understand her for a long time, until I just exclusively shot film and I realized it really does set you free. It’s super risky shooting film, so you wouldn’t think it would set you free but it does. It frees you to think more creatively and just trust your skills and the process. And when you are being creative it’s more of a challenge. Like if you’re going to do a double exposure you really have to think very clearly of how you’re doing it, framing everything, and if it’s going to work. As opposed to if you’re doing a double exposure on digital you can just check right away and that’s no fun.

It’s thrilling, you get your scans back and you don’t know what they’re going to be like. The whole process is very exciting. And clients really love it. Even my clients who didn’t grow up with film. Now there’s more clients who have never experienced film, they just enjoy how special each image is. People cherish their images more. It’s beautiful.

One of the things that first really pulled me into your art was your work with mothers and children. What draws you toward mothers and why are they one of your focuses?

Oh, man. That’s a good question. I’ve never been asked anything like that before. Why mothers? I think there are a couple of reasons. The first reason, that’s the time of life I’m in right now. So that’s my demographic for starters. But I’ve thought about it and I’ve never come to a good conclusion about it. I’ve wondered if it’s because I can’t physically have kids myself. I wonder if there is some fascination or examination I’m doing. Because I can’t have kids and I haven’t been through it. I see pregnancy and the early days of motherhood through a different lens, of more curiosity maybe. Because it’s not normal to me and it’s not commonplace, so it’s exciting. I think that’s the first thing that comes to mind. That could be it. Also just moms and babies are just such a unique relationship to begin with. It’s really an endless topic you could study. The shapes and the colors are so beautiful, and the textures. And the earthiness of it. It’s so feminine and it’s so gritty at the same time. I really like it.

Is there anything in particular you are hoping to capture about motherhood?

Nope, just the reality of it. All I really ask of my clients is they try to be themselves as much as possible. So the shoots are always different. But I just want to capture them authentically as who they are. I don’t think you can see it in the images but I can, like some shoots I did last year I can see a lot of gladness in them because I know what was going on with that mom at the time. And I tell them, that’s just where you were at. This is a time capsule. Shoots can be really silly or intimate or sad and intimate. But they’re always very tender. I love tenderness.

I love that there’s nothing posed or overtly forced in your photos. They feel very lived in. As if you’re capturing these moments as these families are just living their lives and going about their days whether it’s getting dressed for the day or having bath time. How did you develop that style?

It evolved but it came from a place of really valuing authenticity. What’s more authentic than being in a state of undress and moving, undressing, dressing, rocking your baby. You don’t get more authentic than that. A lot of the images are posed in a sense, they’re initially posed but then I let them fall apart. It’s just really that desire for something authentic. The nudity part of it, I’m personally not much of a nudist. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable, though. I think having been a midwife helps a lot and helps my clients a lot because they can get nervous and I can say, “Remember, I was a midwife, I’ve seen it all.” And that has really helped everyone to relax and let me take pictures. It was a few years of asking people to be vulnerable by taking clothes off and now it’s people coming to me wanting to take their clothes off. Not in a weird way of course!

When you mentioned nudity just now it took me by surprise because I’ve never thought of your photos as being nude photos. It doesn’t stick out at all. You do it in such a beautiful, subtle way that I never thought about it until you brought it up.

I have always been really, really clear I don’t want to create sexual images. I want to create intimate images, or even sensual images. That’s totally fine with me. I have a lot of pictures of couples kissing and nudity there, but they don’t feel sexual. So yeah, there’s a line that I don’t think you could define until you saw it.

The last thing I want to do is sexualize anybody, because it’s kind of a cheap trick.

As you’ve mentioned, you are a mother. How do you feel being a mom has affected your artistic vision and output?

When we adopted my daughter I had to do art to, like, breath. That was a really cool time with her, because when we adopted her a lot of things went really badly in our lives just after we adopted her. Nothing to do with her, of course! Just life things. It was a way to process and spend time with her. I created a ton of images with her when she was 18 months to about 3 [years old]. They’re really hard and heavy but I love that I have them. I think with parenting and having two kids now, there’s a level of, I have so few fucks to give. Like, I just don’t have the time. I don’t have the energy to invest in things I don’t believe in, like art projects I don’t think have legs. Not to say I won’t experiment. But it’s made me more focused and it’s made me more relaxed in one sense but it’s also made me more tunnel visioned in what I want. It’s been really awesome. Really tiring, but awesome because I know what’s me and what I want to do. I guess I would say I’ve gotten much more efficient.

Do you ever feel like there’s times where motherhood and art are in conflict?

Oh yes, every day. When we first adopted our daughter she would take three-hour naps in the afternoon, so I would once a week have someone come to the house and we would do “nap sessions” and shoot during her naps. I created a ton of images I loved during that time. Just finding myself and what I like. I got to work with a lot of great people who still model for me from time to time to this day. That was so life giving.

But now I don’t have the time for nap sessions, because nap time now is “clean the house, shower, make dinner, etc.” Things are different now, it’s just so busy. And less energy, but I still have so many ideas. Even today I was driving my daughter to school and I got sad because I have so many ideas I want to follow through on. And Claire Without Kids and Claire With One Kid could find time to do them, but now I can’t and I have to keep letting them go, but I know more will come. That’s something I’ve learned with ideas and projects. Sometimes they come and they go, and you don’t have time to work them out. But there’s always more coming. There’s no scarcity of ideas that come up, so I have to remind myself to let them go and it’ll come back to me if I really want.

I wanted to talk a little about a project you are working on called Fed is Best. Could you tell us about that photo project?

Yes! I renamed it, it’s just called Fed now. I was seeing that Instagram has just been flooded with images of moms breastfeeding. And there’s this really big movement in the last year or two where women are showing more and more skin while nursing and breastfeeding. And while it’s super beautiful and super awesome, it is unrelatable for someone like me who can’t nurse. And also for other types of caretakers like men who don’t produce milk, or grandparents taking care of kids, or foster parents serving as primary caregivers. There’s all these different people who have these beautiful bonding moments multiple times a day, and it just felt like “Well, where are our beautiful images?” Because I know that we’re having these moments too.

So that was the impetus, feeling underrepresented and jealous, too, of these beautiful pictures. And then I’ve just been reaching out to the community. Even though it’s just been very preliminary, and I’m still building it and establishing what the whole project will look like. Also as a midwife, I’ve been so surprised by all the different ways people are feeding their children. I was just thinking we’d have a bunch of different bottle feeding caregivers, but no! There’s so many different things between full on breastfeeding and full on bottle feeding. There’s a plethora of different methods which I didn’t even know about.

It’s very exciting! It’s been fun to explore. Something that’s never happened to me before. And I don’t know what to call it besides stagefright. I got frozen with this project and I lost a lot of momentum from last summer to now. So unfortunately I’ve lost several volunteers I had lined up because they’re no longer feeding their babies, because they’re babies are growing up and not taking milk anymore. But that was really weird. I’ve never had that happen with a project before. I just felt immobilized. I couldn’t make a decision on the project.

I will be seeing it through. But again, there’s no rush, because women, men, and caregivers will always be having to feed their kids. It could be a long project, we’ll see. Also, it’ll be all film. That was one of the things making me freeze, because of the costs. I’m shooting medium format and just committing to that.

That’s such a beautiful idea, because you’re right. There’s so many different types of parenthood outside the traditional biological aesthetic of motherhood that don’t get celebrated or recognized in our society.

And don’t get beautified or romanticized. For adoptive parents or moms who can’t produce milk or just all the different scenarios, pregnancy and having babies is so romanticized. Then people like me feel like this isn’t romantic at all, this is really hard! So yeah I just want to romanticize what we do, too.

Most of the people I interview either don’t rely on film photography for their income, or they shoot digital as their main job and film on the side as a personal passion. I think you’re one of the first people I’ve interviewed who shoot solely film with all their paid work. So how are the rising costs of film affecting your business and is that of concern for you?

Yeah, yup! I actually just sent out some quotes this evening where my prices had been raised. And I sat there for a while reading it over, not sure. If I was a potential new client receiving an email like that, I would be thinking “Are you kidding me?!” But I always have a formula, and it was the formula I used ten years ago and it’s the same formula I use now to make sure I’m earning money. I guess the one thing that you might not want to hear, I’ve always had it in the back of my head is that what I offer is luxury. And when things get difficult in the world luxury items are the first things to get nixxed. And I’ve always thought of myself that way.

I mean, you could argue that photos are art and art is essential. But it’s not a daily living essential. It’s really low. But it’s helped me. I’m totally prepared to fade out, if the world is going to collapse for a while. That’s been in the back of my head. And also, I’m just aware because of the price increases I will have limited clients. Fortunately because I am a stay at home mom and my husband works full time, we are not reliant on my income anymore. We were when I was running a business full time without kids but that ended a few years ago. So I don’t have to think that way. But I do have to think when I do shoot film, it costs me financially to pay for it but also in finding babysitting for my family. So it has to be worth it. So, I don’t know, I don’t have an answer. I just know I’m very aware my job is a luxury item.

Does that ever cause you any anxiety?

No. Because I feel like I can fall back on my other artwork as an outlet. I’ll just figure out how to make art no matter what. If the world totally collapses and we can’t even get film developed, it’ll be heartbreaking yes, but there will always be other outlets. And that’s the main thing for me, this is an outlet.

Also something very unique you’ve been doing to keep your client work alive during the pandemic is Zoom photoshoots. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Yeah, during the pandemic I was trying to find a way to keep shooting film, but, of course, it wasn’t possible to shoot indoors. At the time, I was in an online class with Yan Palmer and Bec Griffiths and I was captivated with one of my classmates. I asked her if I could try shooting her and her baby through Zoom, but on film, and that started a whole new genre for me which has virtually taken me from Connecticut, to Washington state, back to Ontario, then to Germany. Soon I’ll be working with people in Qatar, the UK and the East Coast of Canada. It’s so thrilling being able to virtually travel into clients’ homes across North America and Europe!

I don’t want to forget to ask you! One of my favorite images of yours is the burning Christmas tree image. It is just iconic. I’d love for you to tell us a little bit about that image and how it came about.

Yeah it was our first Christmas with two little kids and my parents were living with us at the time, in an attached part of the house. And life was just heavy, and hard, and tiring, but magical because they were really excited about Christmas. But we forgot to do the Christmas morning picture in front of the tree, or really any picture in front of the tree which I wanted to be our little tradition. And we forgot.

And then it was New Year’s Eve and we had plans to go out and everyone we were supposed to meet up with had Covid. So the party was canceled, and we thought let’s take down the Christmas tree instead. And then I realized we hadn’t taken a picture. And I was just in a MOOD and our daughter wanted to roast marshmallows earlier so I told her, “We’re going to burn the tree and you can roast your marshmallows over it!” She got so excited and was jumping on the couch shouting “Burn the tree!”

So we took it outside, and I could just see it in my head. I knew we had to pick up outfits. We had to do this right. This is going to be our Christmas tree picture, because this is what Christmas was this year. It was chaos, a big dumpster fire. And it felt fitting to burn it. It felt good to not passively take the Christmas tree out and be sad I missed the opportunity to get the picture in front of the tree. I wanted to be really defiant about the whole thing. So when we started off we did some sample shots before I lit it on fire.

And then we don’t know what happened, why my daughter started crying. There are two theories. One, I maybe stepped on her finger but she says I didn’t. And then the other, I think is in her 4-year-old head she hadn’t fully processed we were going to actually burn the Christmas tree and then when she saw what we actually were doing she started crying. So we don’t know. But she did start balling and wailing uncontrollably as soon as we started taking pictures. And I was like, “Yeah, this is appropriate.” It’s in theme. And then I stood up and I just put my arms out like a defiant surrendering thing. It just felt so good to do it in the moment. It was super cathartic. It was awesome.

I always like to ask each of my subjects what female photographers, past or present, do you consider favorites or find inspirational?

Oh, it changes all the time! There’s just so many good ones. First and foremost, and I feel embarrassed to say this because it’s so typical, but Annie Leibovitz. And I’m not talking about her big commercial stuff as gorgeous as it is, but it’s all her personal work beforehand with her parents. If you don’t know any of her earlier work with Rolling Stone and stuff, man she speaks my language. She’s looking for the moment. She’s looking for authenticity. She was following the Rolling Stones for a while before Rolling Stone magazine, and there’s a picture of Mick Jagger getting into the elevator and he’s exhausted and his makeup is all running off after a show. He looks terrible, but he looks like a total rockstar. Just the way she captured it is so vulnerable and tired. She’s really talented. And then with her elderly parents she asked to photograph them. And they let her. And just the vulnerable, intimate pictures she has of her elderly parents is just beautiful. Her early work has been a huge inspiration. So yeah, early Annie. Rolling Stones Annie.

And she has a super cool life. I can’t remember if they were married, but she lost her partner to cancer a few years ago. And she took pictures of it. And that’s me. That’s me. That’s how I process things. I lost my best friend a couple years ago to cancer, and I took a lot of film pictures of it with her permission. I don’t think I’ll ever share them but man are they important to me. And that time in my life and those images helped shape who I am today. And I recognize that in Annie. And beyond Annie, I also really love Vivian Maier, Yan Palmer, and Amy Woodward.

As we wrap up, is there anything this year photographically that you’re looking forward to?

I’m looking forward to getting started back on the Fed project. I’ve psyched myself out, but I know it has value so I’m excited to see what comes out of it this year. And if I get some clients along the way that would be great, but that’s not really the goal these days. I guess the biggest thing, even if Fed totally flops, I just feel like no matter what, I’m really enjoying this process of not caring so much. But also at the same time having a laser vision of knowing what I want to do and not worrying about pleasing other people. And just doing what I want to do. I’m excited to see where it will take me.

Where can people find your work and is there anything you’d like to add?

On Instagram my client work can be found on @dam.its.claire. And my artwork can be found on @claire.dam. So those are the two!

And just one thing I want to add about women in the industry, and in women being talented. I think as women we often don’t present ourselves like we’re talented. Almost like we’re apologetic that we’re talented, and that’s comfortable to do. But it’s so backwards, so I’m pushing myself and encouraging other women in the industry to be proud of our accomplishments. And walk around like we have accomplished stuff. We’re artists and we’re talented, and we’ve earned it through the many hours we have put into our craft. I want to change things because like at weddings and stuff people would always call me “bossy.” And it’s driven me up the wall. Whereas a guy would never be called bossy. And I’ve worked with men who were bossy and didn’t get called bossy. I just hope that we can start carrying ourselves unapologetically that we are talented.

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The post Parenthood and Love Shot Authentically on Film – Interview with Claire Dam appeared first on Casual Photophile.

Often a place of quiet and remembrance, I love that Octavia has opened our eyes to the beauty of these structures. Throughout her career she has been successfully immune to the gear acquisition syndrome so many of us suffer from, which has allowed her to really come into harmony with her Hasselblad camera and produce truly stunning work. I hope you enjoy our chat, and find the beauty in these often overlooked places.

To get us started, can you give us a little introduction to yourself?

As far as film photography, I have a terrible memory, but I know I’ve been doing it since I was 15 years old. I took an overseas trip at that age and I have photos that I took on that trip, so it’s been since at least then. I don’t know why I started taking photos, someone asked me just the other day and I don’t know. I just know I started really getting interested in photography around that age, and got a camera. At the time, film was the only choice, so that’s how I got started. And then I went to school. I have an undergraduate and graduate degree in Studio Arts with a concentration in photography.

Right now in my spare time I have been taking photos, all the time. I had some photo related jobs when I first got out of school but eventually I ended up working several different jobs at vet clinics, botanical gardens, and a few museums. And in my spare time I would do my photography. And then the pandemic hit and for the first year of that I was taking care of our senior dog every day, which was fine because then I get to spend my free time with my dog. It was terrible that we were in a pandemic but it was great that I got to spend every day of the last year of my dog’s life, 24/7 with my dog. But we did unfortunately end up losing our dog, Cleveland. I’m not currently working so I had all this time and wondered what I was going to do. I was watching YouTube and wondering who are these people shooting all this film. What is going on?! So then I did this deep dive, and realized this whole film thing was coming back and thought, “Hey! I have photos like that. I want to play!” So that’s just what I’ve been doing during the pandemic, getting back into my photography.

So you started shooting film at 15 years old. Did you ever have a hard break from film? Did you transition to digital as so many people have done?

When I was graduating, both undergrad and grad school, they were talking about how film was dying at that time. People have been talking about how film is dying since, like, the first digital camera came out and people were instantly like, “Film’s dead!” But I have a digital camera. I tried shooting digital. It just didn’t quite do it for me, so that’s why I’ve just stuck with film. Mainly because it’s what I started with. It’s what I know. But there have been breaks. If you’re not in school with that urge to keep shooting every day, every day, every day which you have to do because you have work you have to produce for school. If you’re not in school and you don’t have anywhere where you can constantly show stuff and have people interact with it, you start doing it less and less and less. There’s been periods where I’ve done it more and then there’s periods where I’ve done it less. But it’s always been there in some capacity.

Since school, have you had opportunities or interest in showing your work at all, like in a gallery?

Well that’s hard because for me, the minute I left school the dark room was taken away from me. I didn’t have a dark room or a place to continually keep doing work. And it’s really hard to get into a gallery, at least it was way back then. Because I graduated from grad school in 2000, it’s really hard to get into a gallery and I’m not much of a trier. I’m a little bit lazier than I should be. I did do some competitions and got some pretty good feedback. I was in a show once and got the prize and all that good stuff. I did more of that while I was in grad school and shortly there after grad school.

But the more you’re doing life and life and life the less that you can do photography and eventually it just becomes this really expensive hobby you do in your spare time. When you have everything else in life going on it’s kind of hard. Especially if you don’t have a community of people to talk to constantly to keep you motivated and keep each other motivated and bounce ideas off of everyone. That’s how I’m using Instagram right now because between 2000 and last year, I was doing work and taking photos but they were basically for me. Me and my husband were the only people who ever saw them. And there’s like 20 years of work just sitting in books no one has ever seen.

Do you remember what your first camera was?

Pentax K1000! [Our review of the Pentax K1000 can be seen here] That’s the only 35mm film camera that I’ve ever shot with. Then I wanted to graduate up to medium format, because especially when you’re printing you can make these big prints with almost no grain and that’s fun. The first medium format camera I got was the Mamiya C33. And I LOVED that camera. I still have that camera. And that’s the only medium format camera I had until I got my Hasselblad. I got that in 2004 and it was GAME OVER. I’m done. I don’t need another camera. This is as good as it gets.

That leads perfectly into my next question. I think of you as the Hasselblad Queen, so I would love to hear how you got matched with your Hasselblad and how you decided that was the camera for you?

Well, I always wanted one! Ever since grad school I always wanted one. It’s not an exciting reason why. It’s basically because William Eggleston had a Hasselblad, so I had to have a Hasselblad. And that was just it. No good reason other than he had one and shot with it, and I loved those images so I wanted one. And I mean, they’re really expensive. They were expensive then and they’re still expensive nowadays. I actually found my receipt from 2004 the other day. I paid $3,000 for that camera. And that’s what they’re going for now. I had shot with that Mamiya for the longest time because I couldn’t afford a Hasselblad. And then my grandmother was giving all the grandkids a little bit of money one year. I opened that check that Christmas and immediately ran to my husband like, “I’m getting a Hasselblad!”

I can’t remember if I got it from a store or from online. But I went looking and they had these special editions in different colors. They had a blue one, a yellow one, a red one, and a green one. And I knew I had to get the green one. Now I kind of wish I had bought maybe a red one, because they really stand out. The green is a forest green so it almost looks like the original black. But if you look hard enough you can see it’s actually a forest green color. Yeah, so basically, I had a little extra cash. William Eggleston made me want to get a Hasselblad, and at the time they had the green so I just went for it.

How was it for you after you got the Hasselblad? Was there any learning pains or did you and the camera click immediately?

Oh, it was love at first sight, it really was. We clicked, no pun intended, right away. It was pretty much love at first sight. She’s a graceful camera. She’s sleek. She’s light. And I really like that. It’s not a heavy camera. It’s a light camera. And I just really like the pictures I get from it. Would I have gotten the same feeling from another medium format camera? Possibly. I don’t know. I honestly have only ever shot with the Mamiya or the Hasselblad, as far as medium format goes so I wouldn’t know if I would have liked another camera better or not. I’m perfectly fine with my Hasselblad. I have no regrets. I LOVE that camera. I will shoot it until I can’t shoot anymore. It’s not been the same experience with the Pentax 67 that I bought recently. [Our Pentax 67 review can be seen here.] That’s been a rollercoaster. I’m warming up to it, but it has been a real rollercoaster of a journey getting used to that camera.

Yeah I wanted to ask about that. Those two cameras are wildly different, both in terms of style and ratio. So tell us about the experience of getting your new Pentax 67 and how it’s going so far?

Pretty good. I’ll admit it, Instagram made me do it! It really did. It’s not that I saw all these people that have a 67 and I need to go get one. It was just a reminder of like, remember back in grad school when you really wanted that Pentax 67? You know, that was another camera that looked really interesting. It’s just a great looking camera in and of itself. You could never use it and just put it on a shelf and it would be like the best piece of artwork you’ve ever bought because it’s just so fantastic looking. She’s a sexy beast, that one! And I do like the aspect ratio that you get with 4×5, but there’s no way I’m shooting 4×5. I’m WAY too lazy for that. The only 4×5 I’ve ever used was in school, and those were those big cameras on the rails. That’s heavy! That’s just too much. But I do like that look and ratio, and the closest you can get to that I think in medium format is with the 67 cameras. It looks very similar to me at least.

And it wasn’t necessarily that I was looking for the 67. I happened to be looking through estate sales one day and one came up and I decided to go check it out. And I really liked it, it looked really good. But then after I got it home I had a little buyer’s remorse realizing it was the version with the radioactive lenses. So then I spiraled a bit with that but now I’m just like, I don’t care if it kills me, whatever. And she’s got some quirks to her, but it’s kind of also been fun learning how to work around those quirks. It’s also fun because she came with six different lenses and I only have the one lens for the Hasselblad, so that’ll be fun using the different focal lengths. I took her out and shot two rolls the other day and I’m excited to get those back from the lab and see how they turn out.

I feel like a big trend in the film community right now is everyone wants to shoot 6×7 and hate on 6×6. What are your thoughts on how they compare?

I think they’re both fine! I can’t subscribe to the philosophy that one way of doing photography is better than another way. I think they’re all correct. If you like the square format and that’s how your eye sees, great! If you don’t like the square and want to do more of a rectangle, great! I think they’re both great. I think for certain things a square format might be better, but I think it just depends on the person. I think it’s all opinion. If you don’t like square format, then don’t shoot square! You don’t have to like it. And you don’t have to justify liking a 6×7 format by crapping on 6×6 format.

And that’s where I get a little frustrated. I think people are trying to justify what they’re doing because they want to feel like they’re doing it the best and they’re doing it correct by telling others how they’re doing it wrong. And it’s all right. There’s no one correct way to do photography and there’s no wrong way to do it. If you want to soak your film in Koolaid, then soak your film in Koolaid! [If you don’t know what Octavia is talking about here, check out our article on souping film.] I personally will never do that, but just because that’s just not my deal.

Unique and iconic to you is that you shoot a lot in mausoleums. What first drew you to mausoleums and how did you develop your style?

The first mausoleums that I went into, I was in grad school taking a 4×5 class. One of the assignments was to shoot an outside of a building and shoot an inside of a building. And I thought, where can I go find an inside of a building where nobody is at? Because I didn’t want to set up this huge 4×5 in an interior space with a bunch of people. I knew that wouldn’t be fun at all. So just one day driving around a cemetery, as I’m sure we all do on a regular basis, there was a big building sized mausoleum and I wondered if it was open. I went in and, yes, it was open. I knew I could take pictures in there with no one around and get my assignment done. So I shot the mausoleum for the assignment, got the film back and was looking at the images and realized how cool they were. And that’s just how it started. I just kept going back and back and back.

Do you think you’ll ever print or publish your work on mausoleums?

When I was in school, I always thought eventually one day. My goal was to have a book of some sorts. But back in 2000, the only way to get a book was if you were famous and had a publisher. The whole idea now of making your own zine, whether a simple one or really fancy one that looks like a book, didn’t exist. That is interesting so I have been thinking about that option. I don’t know when and where that’ll happen, or if it’ll happen but it would be nice to eventually do some sort of publication. And a goal of mine this year is to get packets ready, get an artist statement written, update my C.V., and start entering some juried shows and see how that goes. The only thing I’m concerned about is, I don’t know anything about having images printed digitally. The only way I know how to print an image is in a traditional color darkroom which I don’t currently have access to and I don’t have the ability to build one.

Do you have any interest in shooting 35mm again or is medium format the only match for you?

It really is. If I ever got to the point where I wanted a camera to take on vacation and shoot film for it, then yeah 35mm is the way to go. You can get a lot done and it’s pretty lightweight. But since I’m not interested in having a portable camera, I have no problem with using my Hasselblad and my tripod. Once I hit the medium format, I like a big negative and I like a square, so that has medium format written all over it. I never got into the whole “gotta get a Lecia!” I just went straight to medium format. I just went straight to 120 and the Hasselblad.

So I have to say it seems like you’re very immune to gear acquisition syndrome that so many people suffer from in this community. Would you say that’s true?

I tell you what, I had a little bit of that with the Pentax 67 and then once I bought that and had that whole rollercoaster experience, I looked at my husband and said “that’s it! I’m done!” FOMO no more. People can talk about the gear and all the stuff they have all they want , I’m good. I’m good with what I got. I’m not very good with technical stuff. I couldn’t tell you what type of lens I have. As far as photography goes, that whole side of it, the gear, testing out lenses, using a bunch of different cameras, that does not interest me personally. I’m not going to yuck on anyone’s yum if that’s what they’re into. That’s fine!

Personally I have a hard time understanding turning over your cameras so quickly. It takes a while to learn what you can really do with a camera and if you don’t give it enough time to develop it, then how do you know if that’s really the camera for format or you? If you try it for three months and decide you don’t like it, in my mind you didn’t try it long enough. It takes a while to figure out what you want to do and what you can make with a camera. For me, that would just be a distraction. The easiest way for me is to keep it simple. I know how to use my Hasselblad. I know what I’m using. I’m familiar with my camera. I’ve been using it for years, so when I go out and shoot that’s one less thing that I have to think about when I’m shooting. For me, the less I have to think about technically-wise the better.

When I think about photography, I don’t want to think about the lens, the camera, etc. I want to think about the image, who took the image, why did they take the image, etc. I’m more concerned about the final result than how you got there.

So speaking of final results, your final results are always spectacular! Your exposures are always so good.

No, no it’s not! It’s SO not. I’m only showing the good stuff. I’m not showing the complete utter crap shots. Those don’t see the light of day! No one gets to see those.

Well, the ones you do show then, the exposures are always great and your lighting is always spot on. Beyond your Hasselblad, is there any other equipment you use, light boxes, flashes, light meters, to get your great exposures?

Nope, essentially when I go into a mausoleum it’s just me, the tripod, the Hasselblad, and my lightmeter. And that’s it. Part of me is like, I’m just working with what I have. If I have to start bringing in flashes and lights and setting things up, I’m just not gonna do it. I don’t want to have to carry that stuff. I don’t want to have to think about all that stuff. I just want to go in with what I have and make the best with what’s there and that’s it. Can you imagine if I pulled a Gregory Crewdson and came in with like 50 lights and had to set them all up!? The mausoleum owners would be like, “Please don’t ever come back to this place again.”

The lighting always seems so great in your shots. So you just must be good at intuitively understanding where the light is and composing a scene around it?

I mean, ish. I don’t think I’m consciously going, “Oh look at this light here.” Because a lot of what I see isn’t what really comes back on the film, because you have reciprocity failure, you have your own brain somewhat white balancing what the scene should look like to your eyes, etc. So sometimes it’s a guessing game. Sometimes I get the film back and am like, “Oh! I had no idea that light would be so blue!” Because my brain won’t really see that, but the film will see it. The film will see everything. And a lot of times, there’s a lot of stain glass windows in mausoleums, so there’s always crazy stuff showing up on the film from those I didn’t notice. A lot of it is a surprise.

I tried to figure out reciprocity failure, but I couldn’t. I mean, I get the concept, but I didn’t take in enough information to use it well out in the field. People have asked me how I meter scenes, am I metering for the shadows? Am I metering for the highlights? I literally just take my light meter and stand by what I’m taking a picture of and that’s it. That’s what I shoot it at. I’ve tried metering the shadows and the highlights and coming up with an average, and I just got too confused. My process is good enough. It’ll be close enough for me. And it seems to be working. Every so often I might get some really weird readings, so then I just bracket the heck out of it and hope for the best. This whole mentality that every shot has got to be a winner is just impossible. If those are your standards you’re going to be disappointed all the time.

You’ve said you didn’t realize there was such a resurgence in the film world until you discovered it on Instagram. Can you tell us a little bit about your experience with discovering the online film community and the current renaissance?

Well, so far it’s been a lot of fun! And I’m having a good time with it. As long as it stays fun I’m going to continue to do it. I think my experience with it is going to be a lot different than other people’s experience. In March I’ll be 50. I spent 20 years just doing it for myself and no one else. People’s opinions didn’t sway what I was doing because I didn’t have anyone’s opinions to sway it.

I like Instagram. I think it’s an easy place to post your pictures for people to see. I mean, anyone can do it. You don’t have to rely on art galleries or dealers to get your work out there anymore. And I don’t think I have the same relationship with it as some people do. If my picture gets 1 like, I’m fine. If it gets 7,000 likes that’s fun too. It’s enjoyable and that’s a bonus but I’m not going to start changing my work based off what gets likes online. I’m just going to keep doing what I do.

Moving in a different direction, are there any current or past female photographers you find particularly inspiring?

Oh yeah! I’ll sit here and list them all day long. Off the top of my head, I’m going to have to go old school and go to the traditional ones like Marion Post Wolcott, who did a lot of stuff for the FSA. Also Sally Mann, Diane Arbus, Cindy Sherman, you know! All the greats and the legends. Same with Vivian Maier, her work is great! I really like her stuff. Also I’m almost finished reading Sally Mann’s book that she wrote and I’ve also seen several documentaries on her. Just the way she works, and the way she feels about her own work, is so inspiring. I was watching a documentary and she was talking about her work, can’t remember which photos in particular, but she said “I think this is work that people need to see.” Man that takes some confidence and courage of conviction in your own work to be able to say, “I think this work is so good people need to see this.” I wish I had that kind of attitude.

I think my work is good, but I don’t feel like people need to see it. I think that’s very inspiring to have that kind of attitude about your own work. You go Sally Mann! I think it would be beneficial if more female photographers had that kind of attitude and that confidence about their work.

And my last questions to wrap us up! Any projects for the new year that you’re excited for and also where can people find you online?

Basically online, it’s just OctaviaSharpPhotography on Instagram. That’s it!

As far as projects, so many ideas swirling around in my head. I have a motivation problem with getting things going. I definitely am going to continue with the mausoleums. That’s first and foremost. And just keep making work like that. I kind of have an idea for a book. I was trying to figure out a way, if I get good with the Pentax 67, how can I incorporate those images in with my square images. So I just had different thoughts, like perhaps I’ll keep doing interiors of mausoleums on the Hasselblad but add in exteriors of the mausoleums with the Pentax 67. Exteriors can be really hard to do in a square, because the buildings can be very long and big. But now that I have the 67 and a couple of different wide angle lenses, I thought it would be an interesting concept to take some exteriors with the 67 and add in some history of the buildings.

I also want to get better at writing, so I’ve been reading more. Also would like to get a website up and going as well as this book project. So, yeah!

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A fellow camera collector like me, it was such a joy to get to chat with her, swap stories about our collections, and give each other bits of advice. I related so much to her story from learning how to shoot film just a few years ago to trying to figure out how to make half functioning thrift store cameras work while barely understanding film itself. Even though we had never talked face to face before, it felt like getting to catch up with an old friend.

I hope you pour yourself a nice cup of tea and tuck in to this lovely conversation. Enjoy!

To start us out, can you give us a brief introduction to yourself?

I am based in Tacoma, Washington, about forty minutes or so south of Seattle. I’ve been into photography since I was a teenager. I found Flickr, remember Flickr back in the day? And I would scroll for hours and fell in love with it and was like “I wanna do this, I wanna learn how to do this.”

I was pining after all these cameras for so long but couldn’t afford them, but then eventually my journalism teacher in high school let me borrow a Canon Rebel. I don’t even remember the model. And I would take photos for the school newspaper and then when it was time for summer break he let me take it home which he wasn’t supposed to do. It was how my interest for photography grew, and I’m so thankful for him because he really hooked it up!

So, was that digital when you started photography in high school or was it film?

That was digital. Film is relatively new for me. I’ve only been shooting film for about two years now. Digital I’ve been doing on and off since I was about sixteen years old.

In high school when you were starting out on digital what was it that sparked your interest to keep going? What made you gravitate towards that artform?

I definitely consider myself an introvert. Definitely someone with a lot of social anxiety. And photography was this cool way for me to do something independent. When I would start to get noticed for photography it just felt really good but it felt like I didn’t have to fully put myself out there in a way, like I could hide behind my photos. So I kind of liked that very specific kind of being noticed without being too much in the spotlight.

I love how photography is as solitary or as social as you want it or need it to be. Just feeling very much like I can just have my camera and don’t necessarily need anyone else if I didn’t want to. It was very natural for me as far as art goes. It’s always been hard for me to collaborate, put myself out there, to be in the spotlight. It just worked well with my introversion.

Since you mentioned it can be solitary, would you say now you still prefer shooting on your own or do you like getting to go out and shoot with others?

I definitely prefer shooting on my own, though I’m always kind of pining for a more social element of it, too. But I kind of get Imposter Syndrome, we all do. My confidence in my photography is kind of like a pendulum where sometimes I really feel on it, but then I’ll feel like I don’t know anything about cameras or compositions or settings. The truth is somewhere in the middle.

I like doing it on my own. I don’t feel like I’m having to perform for anyone. But I do think that if I were to work with other people we could probably make some really cool stuff. There’s some great photographers that are in the film community on Instagram that live around the corner from me. I’ve been meaning to do photo walks with them, getting up the courage to do it. As for now though, having it be my own thing, just going on a walk is most comfortable right now.

You started on digital, but what made you jump to film?

I’ve always loved that film look that people talk about. I had been wanting to get into film for years but I never made it happen. Then a couple years ago I was at a yard sale and I got this amazing deal on a Minolta X-700 [see our review here] and a Canon AE-1 [see our review here] and several lenses for $30. I was like “Alright cool, let’s do it!” Just stumbling across those cameras right in front of me with a deal I couldn’t turn down was really how I actually finally started to get into it. All of my cameras are thrifted, yard sales, gifted to me, or found so I’m very fortunate I’ve come across quite a handful.

How has the learning process been for you? Did you feel like it was a struggle or were you able to find good resources?

Kind of both! I definitely got this idea that if I really wanted good photos with certain beautiful colors, and I think this is pretty common, that I had to shoot Kodak Portra 400. So as I was learning I was only buying Portra 400 which is insane because it’s so expensive! And there’s obviously so many wonderful film stocks, and people have their feelings about Portra being overrated or whatever. And it is a great film stock but I had it in my mind that I had to learn on this film stock. If I could go back I would just get some Kodak Colorplus and call it a day.

I remember I would just watch a lot of YouTube videos and try to learn that way. Every roll was trial and error. Getting to know each camera I was using. Because I buy them all from yard sales or thrift stores, I just shoot them in the condition I find them so almost all my cameras are broken in some way shape or form. Learning not only how to shoot film, but learning how to deal with the different shortcomings of each broken camera I insist on using and not fixing.

I’m broke and obsessed with this expensive hobby. One day I will buy a camera and make sure the lightmeter works, is calibrated correctly, and everything is all good and sealed up the way it’s supposed to but I’m not at that place yet so I’ll just deal.

Speaking of learning on Portra 400, a lot of your current photos are shot on Kodak Gold 200. Could you tell us a little bit why you use that film stock and what you like about it?

I think I just tried it out because I was like, “Oh let me try something less expensive.” I was getting a little more confident in my work and I had also realized I didn’t need Portra. That wasn’t really what was making my photos good or not good. And the combination of shooting Kodak Gold at golden hour, I just fell in love with it. Once I switched to primarily shooting Gold then I started seeing more of a cohesion in my photos with the nostalgic vibe and the beautiful gold tones it brings out. I just love that film stock and it’s cheaper. People either really love it or it’s completely dismissed. I feel like there’s no going back. That’s part of why I’m so sad it’s been so overcast these days because overcast weather on Kodak Gold doesn’t turn out great. I feel like I’ve really started to narrow my style since shooting primarily Gold, and some Ultramax, but mostly Gold. 

You always have such great variety in your subjects! How do you choose what to shoot? 

Tacoma is such a cool city. It’s about a forty minutes drive south of Seattle. But it really has its own culture, very rich history. A lot of really beautiful architecture and very old historic neighborhoods. I’m lucky enough to live around the corner from the historic district. So I love to just walk around and see these gorgeous houses that are so unique looking. I just love to walk around the neighborhood and see what catches my eye. I definitely have a thing for cars, I don’t even care about the cliche, I love them. And if I just stumble across a car or house in a certain light especially if there’s some foliage or flowers I can subframe it with then that’s a go to type of framing and composition I’ll use every single time cause I love it. I really love the feeling of looking through something, that frame within a frame composition. Anything that catches my eye in the old suburbs of this city with the correct light I’ll try to shoot it. I’ll try to do that scene justice.

Do you still shoot digital at all?

Almost never. I have a Canon 80D somewhere and it rarely comes out anymore. Every now and again I’ll do senior portraits for somebody I know. I’m not ready to get rid of it, but I also don’t really like it anymore. I feel I’m not a good photographer with digital. It’s heavy. It’s clunky. While you can have that instant feedback knowing your exposure is correct, your focus is on point, my composition is way lazier because you can just shoot and shoot and shoot. With film you really have to think about it. You have 24 or 36 chances. And I feel like I don’t take my time to make sure I’m taking the shot I want when I have digital so I don’t really use it much anymore these days.

Has transitioning to film changed your shooting style at all or what you choose to capture?

Yes. When I started shooting film I made an Instagram just to have a place to put my photos and I wasn’t really expecting to have many followers on it. I just wanted to put my work somewhere. But because of the Instagram formatting I almost exclusively shoot vertically now to fit into that 4×5 ratio, where I didn’t do that before with digital. Most of my digital photos never really made it anywhere. So I’ve been thinking recently how my composition might change if I was shooting horizontally all the time and I almost never do that. Which I kind of hate. Well, I don’t hate it. But that was something I started doing because of Instagram and it does feel kind of weird. And then I think that my film photography is way more creative with it. I put way more thought into the images I’m trying to create than with digital.

So what keeps you shooting film?

The whole process. I love everything about it. I love the very tangible, physical feeling of capturing an image. That clink sound that it makes. Winding the advance. Just how much you feel it. Whereas with digital, the cameras are super fast and quiet; they might do a little chirp if you have that setting on. I just really love how you can feel the mechanics of these cameras that are older than me, older than my dad. I love that part of it. Also I love the surprise of dropping off a roll of film and getting it back and forgetting about certain photos and those turning out to be some of my favorites. Feeling like I have this constant archive of these things I’ve seen in my life in the form of negatives that hopefully I’ll hold on to forever.

I love the different moods and vibes you get with shooting different film stocks. Which feels different to me than with digital using certain presets. Film is just so fun for me and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Though every now and then I’ll shoot two or three rolls in a row that are just bad, in my opinion. There’s a lot of rolls I shoot where none of those images ever see the light of day because I’m not happy with them for whatever reason. And then I’ll get kind of discouraged and in a slump, but I always come back.

Do you feel like social media has played a role in your art? Has it changed your work or what you want to post online?

Definitely, more than I would like to admit I think. There was this time where I was getting really self conscious about those film cliches, you know like classic cars, ferries, basketball hoops. And feeling like that wasn’t what I should be posting even though I love shooting classic cars. It is super common and I definitely was like getting in head about that. Going through my feed thinking there’s too many, I got to break it up and post other things. It kind of comes back to what it’s for. I kind of resent the gatekeeping that you can find online. Ultimately if people are going out and taking photos, that’s amazing and they should shoot whatever they want to.

What one person thinks is worthy of posting or creating, that’s different for everyone. I hope that people don’t feel bullied out of taking photos they want. And I was definitely getting in my head about that. And still do sometimes, but I’m better about it now. Who gives a shit. I like this picture. It’s mine. I took it. And that’s good enough.

Since starting in film a few years ago, how has your experience been in the film community?

Really good, very uplifting and validating. I didn’t know there was such a robust film community. I didn’t know film was having such a moment, a resurgence. Digital photography always felt way more competitive to me than film photography does. I think maybe part of that is it seems like more digital photographers that’s their career more so than film photographers where it’s more like a hobby.

I love that everyone is constantly boosting each other up, reposting, featuring each other. That was not something I even knew was part of the online film community. It’s been really validating, and I love getting the support and supporting others. It’s really fun. I feel like I have my Instagram film friends. And people I feel like in a way I kind of know when I don’t really have any in-real life film photography friends so that’s my people right there online!

In a different direction, since you mentioned you love Kodak and most of your cameras are thrifted. We’re all trying to do this hobby as cost effective as possible. What are your feelings on the Kodak price increases coming our way?

It’s such a kick in the tits you know!? It’s already so expensive. I don’t know how to self-develop yet, that is coming, but right now I still use a lab to get my stuff processed. I don’t understand it because the demand is there. So many people are using it and want it, and are asking for more film stocks and lower prices and it keeps going up. And it feels like there’s such loyalty to Kodak. And it’s just really hard to see. I actually tried to get Portra the other day for the first time in several months. And I went to get a 5-pack which I think I used to pay $50 for and now it’s like $75 or something like that. It was like, absolutely no. This is why I shoot Gold. Thanks for reminding me. But yeah, it’s really hard. And I don’t know a trick to get cheaper film. I know I can buy expired stuff online and that’s like a roll of the dice. It hurts. It hurts the old wallet. [For some advice on how to mitigate the cost of shooting film, see our article here.]

Going through your photos I see you only shoot 35mm. Is there a reason for that? Do you specifically gravitate towards 35mm? Do you have plans to shoot other formats?

Yeah, I’ve never shot medium format. I’m definitely interested in it. I still feel like I have a lot of work to do to really be as good as I can with 35mm before I move to 120 and spend more money. I definitely have an interest in that. But I have this big collection of cameras I’ve been cycling through as they break beyond responsible repair or when there’s one I feel like trying out. I went from Minolta X700 which I LOVE that camera. And then to an AE-1, an AE-1 Program, Canon Canonet [reviewed here], and now my Nikon FM2 [see our review here] which is fully mechanical which is cool and kind of a challenge but good. But yeah I would love to get into medium format some day, I know it’ll happen.

I know you love the X-700, but do you have any wishlist dream cameras?

I’m not really great about camera specs honestly. If I move to medium format, a Pentax 67 would be really cool [yeah, we reviewed this one, too]. I guess I’m a sucker for the images shot on a Contax T2 [plenty on that camera here, as well]. I’m always looking for one of those in thrift stores. Never found one, never even close! But always hoping to stumble across one.

But nothing specifically. Honestly, I would like to invest more in my glass and have some different lenses to swap out. A really cool thing with my Nikon FM2 is that the body of it was given to me by a friend of a friend and I didn’t have a lens for it. I was really excited about it, so I posted about it on Instagram. And just like a testament to how dope and supportive the film community is, someone reached out to me and offered me an extra Nikkor lens they had. I offered to buy it from them but they refused, and just shipped it to me. And that’s amazing because without that I couldn’t have shot that camera.

So yeah, I don’t really have any cameras on my mind right now that I’m looking for. Just some more lenses and maybe just investing in the cameras I currently have and getting them repaired and properly taken care of.

An image of yours I love so much, it’s a very powerful image, is an image you posted last summer. It’s a photo of a woman with her face blacked out to protect her privacy, and she has her hand in the air while there’s a burning car behind her. It’s very emotive and intense. Can you tell us the story behind that image?

Yeah, for sure! That was taken in Seattle on May 30th I think of 2020 it was the first protest in response to the killing of George Floyd last year. I took the train up there. It was pouring down rain and it was super active down there. Cops were tear gassing, shooting rubber bullets at people. There was this crowd of folks that had some buzz about a fire and I walked in that direction and sure enough there was a Seattle Police cruiser that was on fire and this woman standing in front of it and she had her fist in the air. And that moment was amazing and it really felt very real, like why people were out there, what we were demanding.

How screwed up the system is that we had to do that in the first place. And yeah I definitely wanted to keep her private because the Seattle Police Department and police departments across the country were going on social media trying to identify protesters. But yeah that was a very powerful moment for me to come across. It’s a damn shame the photo is not in focus but you know, whatever. It was really scary to be up there. Pouring down rain. Hearing the flash bangs and the other things SPD was using. Then I continued to go up to Seattle for more protests. I just went up by myself, for the purpose of documenting it. It felt almost like journalistic, and like I had a responsibility to document it. Definitely super emotional as a black woman to be there and continue to go up every single day. But I brought my camera, and got a lot of images that I feel like really captured the feeling and the energy of what people were protesting.

Did you have any feelings on how the film community responded or handled that moment in time?

Sort of, yeah. Part of why I really wanted to go up is I wanted to document that as a black photographer and I wanted other black photographers and black artists to be the ones telling that story. And it was uncomfortable for me to see white photographers getting in people’s faces. It was just weird. I’m sure the intent was good but it was like, this isn’t for likes. And also I guess, not knowing what it was for. Like why are you taking this photo? To contribute? To document this movement? How self serving is it? I don’t know, it made me uncomfortable.

On the other hand though, there were tons of black photographers that were documenting and taking pictures and it felt really amazing to be able to see these movements unfolding in all of these cities across the country and really across the world. Yeah, there’s a lot of complicated feelings about seeing this played out on social media.

So on a more broader term, how do you feel like film photography has affected your life? Do you feel like it’s changed your life at all?

Yeah, I feel like film photography is my art medium and will be forever more. I never felt comfortable referring to myself as an artist until shooting film and still don’t all the time. It feels very much a part of who I am and how I show up in the world. How it’s changed me is I’m way more annoying to my friends! I think because constantly when we’re in the car I’ll be like “Oh, no. You gotta go back! You gotta stop, I gotta go out. I gotta frame this up and get my different angles!”

And I always try to have a camera on me no matter what it is. Right now I shoot a Nikon FM2 usually that’s with me but even some Fujifilm disposable cameras. I love those. I might have a little point and shoot. Since shooting film, way more than shooting digital, I’m always kind of looking for photos. Trying to be way more aware of my surroundings, looking up, looking underneath things, playing with different framing by getting behind things or under things. So yeah it changes the way I view the world more since I’m always trying to compose.

Are there any female photographers, current or historical, that you find inspiring?

Yes! Off the top of my head, I have a couple I can think of including @filmbyvee_, @deerlyalexa, and @ari.bonner. Those are just a few I can think of! But I love the female photography community. Photography is one of many hobbies that are white, male dominated. There’s a lot of women who are really doing that real work to elevate other women artists. We deserve that spotlight too. 

Before I let you go, do you have any big projects lined up?

I really would like to explore portrait photography! And have more shoots that are styled and have a more creative element. I’m always going to do my photo walks and street photography. But really wanting to take photos of people and needing to overcome the anxiety part to get to that. But I think it will help me grow as a photographer so much.

I really would like to do a portrait series of people in Tacoma. There are just a lot of characters in this City who have really great stories to tell and interesting looks about them and I would like to highlight them as well. 

And lastly, where can people find you online?

Yeah! My film account is @analogdanica. Every now and again I will do some paper collage, that’s my secondary hobby. That page is @shockpaperscissors.

Get Inspired

For more stories behind the images and photography from the community check out the many series we’ve published over the years below!

Featured Photophile – we shine a spotlight on amateur photographers whose work we love.

Photographer Interviews – in-depth discussions with professional and established photogs doing great work.

Female Photographers to Follow – get inspired by a monthly series focused on the beautiful and unique perspectives of female photographers.

Five Favorite Photos – a hand-selected examination of the oeuvre of ur favorite famous photographers.

Follow Casual Photophile on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

[Some of the links in this article will direct users to our affiliates at B&H Photo, Amazon, and eBay. By purchasing anything using these links, Casual Photophile may receive a small commission at no additional charge to you. This helps Casual Photophile produce the content we produce. Many thanks for your support.]

The post Interview with Film Photographer Danica Thomas appeared first on Casual Photophile.

Beyond her photos, Kali also is a strong proponent of diversity and representation in the film photography community. Never afraid to speak her mind, she’s played a pivotal role in making the online photographic community more open and inclusive. She’s a joy to get to speak to and really made me long to say sayonara to the chill of the midwest and go shoot some sunny California vibes. I hope you enjoy our chat, and maybe even get inspired to ditch your standard film stocks for something a little more edgy.

Thank you so much for taking the time to chat! To start us off, can you give us a brief introduction to yourself?

I identify as a disabled artist, because I always highlight that about myself. But I specialize in film photography and writing. Experimental film is my kind of thing. I like to do psychedelic compositions and play with light. I’m very much connected to the ether. 

And what got you into film photography?

I blame my grandfather. Well, blame is harsh. I’m grateful because he facilitated this hobby for me. He gave me his and my grandmother’s old Kodak Signet 35 from 1951. So that was about ten years ago. And I was like “Wow! This is confusing!” He also gave me a whole bunch of expired film along with it. I didn’t start shooting regularly until I started dating my boyfriend as it’s easier to shoot film when you’re going out with someone to do it, especially for me because I can’t drive anymore. So yeah, family got me into it!

So, family got you into it, but what keeps you shooting it?

It’s kind of addicting! It really is. I’m often stuck inside. Being disabled, having constant chronic pain makes it difficult to move about as one ordinarily would. So my opportunities to go out into the world are limited. And so I bring my camera with me every time I leave the house. I go and basically collect portals to places that I really like looking at, because when I’m back here stuck in bed dealing with symptoms, it’s really comforting to say “Oh, I did go out into the mountains and explore, and experience nature, and here’s the evidence!” It’s very much a personal motivation to continue interacting with the external world. 

I think that is really beautiful and can see how that would be comforting. As you mentioned you often identify as a disabled artist. How has your disability affected your art and what you choose to create?

That’s a really good question. I’m very much limited by how far away I can get from my house within a day and get back in time to take XYZ medications and fulfill XYZ needs. You will notice that my body of work is in one place. I’m in Santa Barbara. I’m either in the mountains, at the beach, at the skate park, or driving around town. I wish that I could get out more. When I was able-bodied I was able to travel and I’m always kicking myself now thinking like “Man, when I was in Europe why did I not have my camera!” It influences what I have access to as well as when I’m able to get out and do what I do. I often work in short bursts and then reap the benefits for days later as I’m looking at the photos.

Do you develop most of your own photos or do you go to a local lab?

Color Services, my lab in Santa Barbara, does everything! I love them. Glen is the owner. He knows me. I think they carry Lomochrome Purple just because I’m the only one who buys it in Santa Barbara. So they do all my developing and scanning. I know some people do it themselves but I don’t. Plus I’ve heard working with the chemicals for too long can give people neuropathy in their hands and I already have neuropathy so I don’t want more. I have a friend who worked in a photolab for a couple years and he had to stop because his hands were going numb! So yeah, y’all better be wearing gloves! I feel like it’s a bit of a trend now to develop at home. And it’s like, oh my gosh can we not do everything?? Can we just take the pictures and appreciate them? There are specialists for that. Everyone doesn’t have to be everything you know? Unless you really want to then by all means, for sure. 

Your style is so distinctive, it’s just an explosion of color and psychedelic energy. How did you develop your style? 

Well I started shooting with expired film and I was like “Woah, these colors are unique!” And then I realized, wait a second, there’s new film stocks and there’s new film stocks that aren’t just Kodak Portra? I love Portra, but I mean, you know. There’s other stuff out there and once I realized that I was just obsessed. Dustin Adams who makes Psychedelic Blues Film, he’s a buddy of mine, and working with his film has been really satisfying for me because there’s no way you’re ever going to get an organically circular shaped light leak. It kind of creates this planetary spacey vibe. Though recently I’ve actually been wondering if I am relying too heavily on experimental film stocks. Am I resting on that? If I were to use a standard film would someone still look at the photo and say “oh yeah, she took that ” or would they not know because anyone could have taken it? So I’ve been thinking about that lately, and I’ve been working in more Kodak Ektar and Ektachrome trying to see what’s really there underneath the psychedelic explosion. I do care deeply about composition. So yeah, always learning!

So outside of your photography, you describe yourself as an artist. What other artistic forms are you working in?

Right now, mostly ceramics. I’m doing a lot of pottery. I’m saving up to get a throwing wheel. It’s difficult being unemployed, but I’m working on it! So yeah I’m making vessels, and I paint with watercolors. I like to buy handmade paints from some ladies in San Francisco. I’m also a musician. Prior to losing my fine motor skill dexterity I was a guitarist and singer then I transitioned to electronic music. I have an OP-1 synthesizer and I get into that. But one can only push buttons for so long!

I feel like you are very prolific with your photography; you’re always posting so many photos! How often do you actually get to shoot? What’s your shooting schedule like?

I think about that, people must think I literally do nothing else. I post photos in sets, and you can post ten photos in a set. So if I post two sets a day, that’s literally twenty photos, so that is a lot of photos! I live with my boyfriend half the time. When he’s here, every day is go out and shoot because he is kind of like my physical facilitator to the outside world. He can take me places in our car. And that is great! So we go out every night to shoot sunsets and every day on the weekend. And when he’s not here I try to motivate myself to go out to walk. I live right by a park, a cliff, and a beach. So it’s like right there! I just gotta get my butt out there. I generally shoot every day or every other day. Yeah my lab is very busy! 

I’ve noticed that oftentimes when you’re posting photos, you are also posting beautiful writing with them. What’s the relationship between your photos and prose? Do the photos come first or do you have the quotes in your head when you’re shooting?

I generally don’t think of the prose first, unless it’s something I’ve written or am writing. The prose generally comes later. It will be the result of some kind of reflection. I try not to fall into the trap of saying something just to say something on Instagram. Sometimes I feel like I used to talk a lot more about my personal life, but I realized I can kind of express myself and my artistic goal more clearly through other channels that I’ve found inspiration from. I really like Terence McKenna, Henry Miller, Hunter S. Thompson, Bob Dylan, and Patti Smith. I find a lot of the people I grew up listening to or reading in my childhood have influenced what I respect and admire in other artists, so I want to share what they made with the world as well as what I’m making. 

So the writing often comes after a moment of reflection. Is there a particular reflective moment that has stuck in your mind?

Every now and then I will have very emotional responses to film and photos I’ve taken. Especially when it comes to self portraits or portraits I’ve instructed my boyfriend to take of me. Any time I’m seeing myself in nature, I get emotional about it because it’s something that used to be so abundant in my life and now it’s not. Those moments really mean a lot to me because it’s like “Wow, I really existed here in that moment.” I value that a lot. Film is pretty magical so I’m perpetually mystified.

I know one of the things we really got connected on recently is when Kodak was called out for their lack of representation of female photographers on their social media channels. You have been really active in fighting for representation. I would love to hear your experience as a woman in the film world. When did you first start noticing this issue, what motivated you to speak out?

I was seeing misalignment, particularly with Kodak. Everyone follows Kodak. I thought, “How are they picking these photos? Who is picking these photos? What job is that specifically?” I used to work in social media, so I knew someone was doing this. So just one day I randomly scrolled back through their page and realized it was all men’s names, just infinite men. I was just so boggled by that, I had to say something publicly. It’s so strange and wrong. How is this even a thing? We’re still having to deal with this in 2021? Apparently we are. I didn’t expect it to be so big and get such a positive response from our initiatives. That was really cool to me. And we saw not only do people in the community care about female representation but also LGBTQIA, people of color, and other minorities. And that was very heartening to me because I can be very cynical, especially about the film community which can often feel like it’s just a bunch of dudes from the Bay area along with some dudes from LA and New York. But that feeling is not just not fulfilling for a lot of the women in this community. I like to poke the bear. And I like that a bunch of other people agree and also feel inclined to speak their minds. I don’t know where it’s going. We’ve been successful in some ways and I hope for big progress. Kodak is now starting to represent women. I didn’t go into this hoping to have a longstanding beef with the leading film company in the universe. Who wants sustained beef with Kodak? So I think it’s an opportunity for the community to continue to grow and become more diverse. 

I know in the moment when we were calling on Kodak, you played a very instrumental role. You put a whole petition together for women to fill out and talk about their experiences in the film world. How did that petition come about and what were some of the most impactful answers you received?

When there’s a massive corporation with a bunch of fans and people behind them that believe and agree with everything that corporation does, they’re going to disagree with you no matter what. And we definitely experienced their disagreement. I realized we were all so spread out and it would be better if we were a unified voice. I had never made a petition before. It was definitely by the seat of my pants kind of thing. I saw a need, and I wanted to meet the moment. I put up the petition and didn’t really expect anyone to really fill it out. I shared it with you and some other bigger pages, and thought maybe if those people shared MAYBE we’d get something. But yeah, the people that responded, it was just really great. People actually really did care. It was nice to know there were so many people who were as passionate about it as we were. It’s nice to know you’re not so alone in your feelings sometimes. Especially on the internet! Seeing that people cared made me realize we were on the right track. I think we got over 300 names at some point. It’s actually still up on my linktree at this point.

How do you see what the path is moving forward? What else needs to change for there to be better representation in the film community?

Good question. Honestly I wish that the big curated pages would just go POOF! A lot of those curated pages are run by men, and have the male gaze going on. It has a lot of boudoir photography from the male perspective and I think that can make women feel not only insecure but also that isn’t for them. As is the way photography has been marketed since the dawn of time, as a man’s tool. But it’s everyone’s tool! Also I think the film community would be a lot more authentic if people didn’t feel the pressure to cater to trends. We don’t need people trying to be like everyone else. Not everyone lives in California. Not everyone should try to be taking a shot of that one street in Los Angeles looking downtown. Nah. Diversify! I think the more people embrace what’s different, things get better. I don’t expect any drastic changes. We have a lot of new young people shooting film these days. Who knows what they’ll do. I hope it’ll be good! I hope there’ll be more women. 

Which women photographers, either current or past, do you find inspiring?

Excellent question, there are many! My friend McKenzie, who is in Louisiana, is a very interesting artist who unfortunately doesn’t share a lot of work on instagram. I just love her very refined eye. Pia Riverola, her work in Mexico, her architectural work has been very interesting to me. It makes me wish I could travel. Nicolette Passerello down in LA, her work is BEAUTIFUL. Golly! Of course SoftBoiFilms, I mean everyone knows Nat! If you don’t know Nat, what are you doing? Filmbychloeg, she is awesome. Carmel Notley has really been inspiring me lately. Also Nadja Ahamn, she’s amazing! Also Harvey Hale, her work is stunning. I’m constantly like “what is your secret!” Also Monica Figueras in Spain. Honestly there’s so many. The photographers I seem pulled towards right now all seem to be in the Mediterranean right now. I just really like things that are a little different. It’s nice to see what women are doing in other parts of the world, especially down in Mexico City. Also, historically, I’ve really been into Imogen Cunningham’s work. I learned about her in a Women in Art History class in college. I love how she got so close to her subjects. She’s such a huge artistic inspiration to me. 

Before I let you go, I know you said you’re working on using more standard films. Is there anything else on the horizon for you?

Yeah! I’ve been doing some dabbling in 8mm cinematography. I have an old Minolta Zoom 8. I made a film earlier this year and I really like that medium. So I’ll probably make another film in the next year or so! More specifically photographically I’ve been dabbling in medium format photography for the first time. I’m being the most economically conscious as possible and bought an old Holga CFN on eBay. And you know those cameras are plastic, just all plastic and don’t even close probably, you have to tape it! I’ve really been enjoying the tactical weirdness of it. Also portraiture, I’d love to do more portraiture which is a bit harder during the pandemic. But really I just hope to continue making art that makes me happy. That means chasing the moon and cool clouds. 

My last question, where can people find you?

Geographically, Santa Barbara! Other than that , I’m on Instagram and I have a print shop going. It’d be great to sell some prints, which I do on occasion. Yeah I’m online! I’ll just be in my little corner of Instagram building a bubble of psychedelic ether for people to enjoy.

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/evertenderstudios/ 

Website https://evertenderstudios.myportfolio.com/ 

Print Shop https://evertenderstudios.bigcartel.com/ 

Get Inspired

For more stories behind the images and photography from the community check out the many series we’ve published over the years below!

Featured Photophile – we shine a spotlight on amateur photographers whose work we love.

Photographer Interviews – in-depth discussions with professional and established photogs doing great work.

Female Photographers to Follow – get inspired by a monthly series focused on the beautiful and unique perspectives of female photographers.

Five Favorite Photos – a hand-selected examination of the oeuvre of ur favorite famous photographers.

Follow Casual Photophile on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

[Some of the links in this article will direct users to our affiliates at B&H Photo, Amazon, and eBay. By purchasing anything using these links, Casual Photophile may receive a small commission at no additional charge to you. This helps Casual Photophile produce the content we produce. Many thanks for your support.]

The post Interview with Kali of Evertender Studios appeared first on Casual Photophile.

WIlson is an absolute gem and if you’re not convinced to give large format a go after this interview, then I suggest getting your eyes checked. When they are, you can see more of her work on Instagram at @KateMillerWilson.

Can you start out by giving us a little introduction to yourself?

I have been shooting for about seven years. I started with digital. I was completely obsessed with learning and digital is a good way to learn because you’re not wasting any film yet. After a couple of years, I really got into film and learned to develop. I started with medium format and I did that for a little while before I got into large format and now that’s mostly what I shoot. I shoot 8×10 and 4×5, but mostly 4×5 because it’s convenient, inexpensive, and it’s easy and fun!

You started with digital, but what was it that pushed you into film photography?

I mostly photograph my kids (although I’m trying to branch out from that more) and I loved looking at other photographers’ photos of their own kids. Obviously there’s Sally Mann who is just amazing. She was really the kind of person I wanted to be like in the beginning. I knew she was shooting film and wet plate, so I had to learn those skills in order to get to that level.

I loved everything I saw that was large format. I started following people online and looked up images, and I was always going for that goal of eventually being able to shoot large format. What I didn’t realize is that you (or myself at least) end up caring more about your film pictures than the digital ones. Because digital is just so easy to push the shutter button and take 200 or 300 photos a day. That was great for learning, but you don’t care about the photos the same way as if you were only taking two or six images. 

I feel like there’s several different camps in the film world. There’s some people that shoot film because of the slow process and others because they like the look of it. It sounds like you’re more in the second group? Is that fair to say, or is it a little bit of both for you?

It’s probably both. Initially it was just the look. I didn’t yet understand that the process felt different. Later I learned that slowing down, looking through the ground glass, taking the time to set up the shot — in addition to making you love the shot more — is also really calming. And I’m a really anxious person. The mindfulness aspect helps me to shoot that way.

Your photos have a very unique look to them. It’s easy to tell when a photo is yours while scrolling through Instagram. How did you develop your style?

I remember when I got my camera I didn’t have a lens at first — I just looked at it and admired its beauty. Once I got a lens it was fun to see what I could do with it. I was just experimenting with moving it. I fell in love with the idea that you could get two different things in focus. 

I love shallow depth of field in all formats. But then to be able to shoot at a shallow depth of field and still be able to offer context is great. If you’re shooting 35mm at f/1.4 you lose the background, it becomes this pretty blur. And that’s cool, but to be able to do this really shallow depth of field and still have something else in the background in focus. I just started messing around with that and it became what I wanted to do. I don’t always get two things. Sometimes there’s a little weird effect but that’s what I like about it.

I would say large format is a bit more difficult and intimidating. Have you experienced that?

I mean, there are a lot of ways to mess it up and many things you can do incorrectly. You can miss focus or mess up your exposure. But that’s true with any format or camera. I’ve wasted a fair number of sheets just by pulling the dark slide too soon. I think I mess up around one sheet for every 50 exposures.

That’s not a bad ratio!

I just accept it as part of shooting large format. Of course you’re going to make mistakes. But once you get the hang of it there are fewer of them. People have been shooting in large format for so long, and sometimes they’ll say it’s a lot harder than it is.

Mistakes are a natural part of the learning process. Even professionals make mistakes. What are some of the silliest mistakes that you’ve made?

I’m building a darkroom, but until it’s finished I’m doing my developing in one of my bathrooms. I develop 8×10 in trays because I don’t shoot a lot of it and I haven’t had good luck with anything else. In the bathroom the switches for the bench fan and the lights are next to each other. Once, I was tray developing and had forgotten to turn on the fan. I was worried I would poison myself so I quickly hit the switch. But it was to the lights and so all the film was immediately ruined.

Light leaks are always a possible mistake. It could be that the film holder isn’t seated correctly and if it isn’t, light can leak in easily. Of course, there’s plenty of potential for mistakes while developing, correct exposures can be missed too. Some of these mistakes you can fix, but when it comes to pulling the dark slide too soon that’s frustrating because you know you wasted the film.

I don’t want to sound privileged, but I feel like it’s okay to waste film. Of course it’s expensive, but experimentation is also part of the process and necessary for growth. And experimentation means you’re going to waste a lot of film. I did a series a couple years ago where I used static electricity to shock self portraits in the darkroom and I wasted about three quarters of the film through trial and error. But the results were cool! I think it’s good to have that attitude, knowing you’re going to waste some film and blow some shots. Nothing is too precious.

That sounds like a really interesting project. What effect did the static electricity create?

It started as a reaction to the anxiety I was feeling when the pandemic was first starting. I felt like I had to do something to take my mind off of it, and photography always does that. So I did a self portrait on Ilford Ortho film. Then I took it to the darkroom and shocked the negative with a crank generator that creates a static shock. It was weird but it created this all-consuming feeling. Throwing yourself into something when feeling anxious is something I love about a good photo project.

Did it give the film a lightning bolt pattern or effect?

Yeah! You can get different effects. If you just hit it in one spot, it’ll travel to the edges so then it’ll create like a lightning bolt. Or you can drag it and then it creates this sort of swirling vortex of light. Or if you get it wet then it creates a bunch of sparkles. Most of the time I couldn’t see where I was going to shock the negative, so I would accidentally blow away the image in the wrong spot. But I had a really good time doing it, even if it’s not something I would ever do in my normal photo work.

It’s kind of like doing double exposures, and trying to visualize how the two images will lay on each other. 

That’s exactly what it is, — a double exposure with static. And large format is awesome for double exposures, but everything you’re looking at is upside down and backwards, so you’re always thinking, “Wait no, where was that?” 

Can you talk a little bit about your experience with 8×10 photography?

I’ve been shooting 8×10 for about a year. And I really like it, but it’s different. Probably no one else would call 4×5 convenient, but to me it is because you can throw it in a backpack. I have a camera and a few lenses and can take it to locations. I can still develop it in a tank and it’s fairly easy. 

But with 8×10, everything is more extreme. It’s four times as expensive, so you wonder with each shot if it’s something you really want to capture. And because I do like to waste film, 8×10 makes that much more painful, not to mention the physicality of having a bigger and heavier camera to work with and carry around. It’s not easy to take it everywhere. Then you have to develop in a tray, which takes me longer as I can only do a few sheets at a time.

I’ve heard before, that the learning curve in going from 4×5 to 8×10 is really big. Is that accurate?

I don’t feel like that, no. Of course, there were a couple of challenges I ran into. 

The first lens I got for my Deardorff is a Cooke lens from 1900, which means it doesn’t have a shutter. My uncle built me a packard shutter box for it, which was really awesome of him. But it’s all a lot more cumbersome. But the process is mostly the same. Your hands already know what to do to adjust the movements and focus. It takes more muscle to pull the back and shove in a film holder without jarring the camera while you’re doing that. There’s little things, but I don’t feel like it’s that different. 

If it’s basically the same experience as 4×5, just a lot more inconvenient, then I can see why you would continue to gravitate towards 4×5.

Right and it’s interesting because the way we share our photos and experience photos on our phones. If you shoot 8×10 and someone is just gonna look at it on their phone, it’s a little like “why am I doing this?” Because this actual negative is like 5 million times bigger than your phone’s screen!

You said you jumped into photography because you like photographing your kids. Can you tell us more about your experience having your family as subjects? How do they react to it? What do they think of your work?

I have the best family for that! I’ve been into photography for so long that my kids are used to it. Sometimes I have to trade them something like, I’ll unload the dishwasher for you or you can have a little extra iPad time. It’s not that big of a deal to them. The rest of my family, the adults, took longer to feel comfortable, because adults generally care more about what they look like in a picture. 

I really only shoot my family and friends and my family is really supportive. I’ll go on a hike with my extended family and people will take turns carrying my backpack of gear for me and my tripod. If I ask whether I can take a picture of someone, they’re always happy to participate. My mom in particular will do more elaborate posing for me.

So they’re pretty comfortable in front of your camera? Are they naturals?

I think they’re probably a little uncomfortable, it depends on the subject. I have to ask at the right time and sometimes if I can tell someone is tense then I won’t ask. I also try to make sure there is something going on, whether it’s an interaction between two people or an activity or something to hold or something to do. I think that makes it so people aren’t quite as focused. I don’t pose anybody very much. I focus on the light, but I’m not usually like telling people “put your hand here and make this facial expression.” 

So there’s no posing even with your children?

I mean, I’ll set something up. There has to be more planning because it’s large format work. I set up the shot before I bring them in and I pre-focus. And then bring them in and I’ll just say “sit here” and then I just chat with them and then I’ll just say “hold still.” It’s a hybrid between posing and not posing. We talk and try different things. Sometimes it works, sometimes we try something else. It’s just whatever happened to be the most natural thing at the time.

How has motherhood changed and affected you as a photographer?

I wasn’t really a photographer before I was a mother so I don’t really have much to compare it to. I do know that I couldn’t have started as a photographer earlier than I did. My eldest child has autism, so for the first several years of his life I was working really hard with him in therapy. I just recently found a journal I had been keeping at the time and there were entries like “everything is great and he won’t stop crying and I don’t have a lot of time for creative pursuits.” 

It’s hard to imagine having time for photography when I read that now. If you have a special needs child who is little, there isn’t room for that. Then he got older and we had another baby and then you have a baby. You’re not sleeping, you can’t come up with ideas. It’s overwhelming and all consuming. After a few more years I could start thinking about creative things. I became inspired by the idea of capturing all the moments of life. Not just the birthday candles, but also the tears and tantrums. I think that for me, capturing that experience, my experience as a mother became a source of inspiration.

A lot of your photos are taken on black and white, often on Fomapan 100. Why black and white? Does that speak to you more than color?

In a practical sense it’s easier to develop. I can develop color but I’m not reliably good at it. But, even when I shot digital I converted most things to black and white. I feel like color steals the show. It becomes the thing. The only way I can really shoot color and be happy with it is if it’s minimal, simple and stripped down. I just see things that way. I just see things in terms of the tonality. It’s simpler. It makes you focus on shapes, emotion, and light. 

What’s the biggest challenge and what advice would you give to someone just starting out in large format?

Hmm that’s really good. It might seem silly but the heft of everything is a real challenge!

I actually have a herniated disk because of carrying this stuff around. I get my kids to carry it as much as I can now. But it’s really heavy and everything is big and weighs a lot. And yeah you can get lightweight ones but I love my camera and I don’t want a different one. 

A better answer might be that there are a lot of ways to mess up. You have to be okay with messing up and that takes some mental adjustment. If you’re coming from digital the difference will be more apparent. With large format, I have six chances to make my photo, not the 10, 12 or 36 chances of roll film or the infinite opportunities possible with digital cameras. 

I would also say to do your best and try not to be intimidated. It’s not scary. It allows you to do so many things and express yourself in different ways. It’s up to you to explore this world of possibilities. 

You mentioned Sally Mann, but are there any other female photographers that inspire you?

Gertrude Käsebier’s work at the turn of the century is really amazing and beautiful family photography done in large format. Also Anne Brigman, who did nudes in nature around the same time. More than 100 years ago women were making a major impact on the photographic community and people somehow forget that. Women have done some amazing work, even before people realize they were doing so. 

What’s next for you when it comes to your photography?

I’d like to do more work with models. I recently had a lot of fun in a shoot with a friend who’s also a photographer. We shot the model together and it was interesting to see our different perspectives. I shot 46 sheets in four hours! I would shoot 6 sheets then he would take a turn and while he was shooting I would be switching my film. I would like to do more of that. 

It’s important that I have something to say with my photography. A lot of people can create something beautiful, but I want to have something to say. I don’t know what that is yet so I need to figure that out.

Get Inspired

For more stories behind the images and photography from the community check out the many series we’ve published over the years below!

Featured Photophile – we shine a spotlight on amateur photographers whose work we love.

Photographer Interviews – in-depth discussions with professional and established photogs doing great work.

Female Photographers to Follow – get inspired by a monthly series focused on the beautiful and unique perspectives of female photographers.

Five Favorite Photos – a hand-selected examination of the oeuvre of ur favorite famous photographers.

Follow Casual Photophile on Facebook and Instagram

[Some of the links in this article will direct users to our affiliates at B&H Photo, Amazon, and eBay. By purchasing anything using these links, Casual Photophile may receive a small commission at no additional charge to you. This helps Casual Photophile produce the content we produce. Many thanks for your support.]

The post Kate Miller Wilson on Large Format, Electric Shocks and Photographing Family appeared first on Casual Photophile.

Enjoy!

Talya Adams

Thank you for taking the time to chat with me! Could you start us off by giving us a brief introduction to yourself?

Talya Adams, I am currently an LA-based writer/photographer, living in KoreaTown, which has been a town I have been documenting since the pandemic. It’s always interesting, every single day! I’m originally from Florida. I moved out here to pursue the Arts, and I continue to do so everyday.

What specifically got you into film photography and what keeps you shooting it?

It’s a journey. In 2016 I went to Mexico for my birthday with some friends. One of my friends, who is a director and really good at photography, took photos while we were down there. Mine looked like crap while hers looked really good! I didn’t understand what was happening. And she told me about this photography class she had to take at NYU, and what she learned. So then I got some books and started learning.

At the time I was working at a film school, so I had access to digital cameras but I could only check them out for so long. I also had a friend whose parents had given him a digital camera which he never used, so I would always borrow it. Then one sad day, I went to Venice and fell into the ocean. Never stand on rocks! I got his camera all messed up, so I wanted to fix it before he found out because I felt so responsible. So I took it to a camera shop in downtown LA. I ended up just talking to some of the workers there. One of the guys was an editorial photographer and he asked me “why are you shooting digital?” I just said “well, cause that’s what I have!” He said “That’s so boring! Everyone shoots digital. It doesn’t really matter what kind of camera you have because you can mimic anything in post production. You should get into film.”

Man, I didn’t know anything about that. But the cameras are cheaper and easier to get into. So I went to a thrift store and found a camera for $7. It was a Rollei 35S. I was so ecstatic. I took it to the camera shop and asked them if it worked. They checked it out and confirmed it worked. I don’t think I even had it a week. I took it to work to show my coworkers. One of them wound it too tight and broke the advance! And because the 35S is made out of plastic, it couldn’t be fixed. So I went back to the camera shop and asked them to help me. And they told me there wasn’t anything that could be done. I was so sad. I hadn’t even finished a roll in it. But they had a Rollei 35B which is metal. He pulls it out and asks me, “how much can you give me for this camera?” I don’t even know how much this stuff costs, and I didn’t want to insult them. He just said, “Make me an offer!” So I asked to give them $40 and he said “It’s your camera. Don’t let anyone else touch your camera.” I still have that Rollei 35B and that’s how I got started. 

That’s amazing! Do you think that’s a bit of camera karma seeing as you broke your friend’s camera and then your camera gets broken by someone else?

It’s true! I couldn’t even be that mad! It’s so devastating especially since I spent so much money to fix my friend’s camera since it had saltwater damage. Yeah, it makes sense. And then because I found that camera thrifting it really got me into thrifting cameras. I think for a year afterwards I was thrifting heavy. I think I had something like five or six Canon AE-1’s [read our review here]. That was my first SLR camera.

We have some really good flea markets and thrift stores in the Greater Los Angeles Area. I would just take a day, call up all the places and ask, “What do you got??” And most places don’t know what they have when you’re talking about cameras. I would have to ask, “Does it take batteries? Does it take film?” and often they’d say “Oh, we have some really old ones!” So I’d go to all these different places and get these great hauls. Resell them and along the way, I’d use them and learn them. So, that’s really what kickstarted me. Every camera I picked out, there was something new and interesting about it. I just fell in love with it.

I feel like it’s a very similar story for me too! I randomly found a Canon AE-1 at the thrift store one day. And just like that I got addicted to thrifting cameras. It was just so fascinating to learn about different cameras!

Thank god it got so expensive, or else I’d have a lot more! Today you go to a thrift store around here and cameras are $100, but it’s broken and the sales people will just say “That’s how much it costs!” Now I end up leaving way more than I pick up.

Yeah the stores are catching on! So what would you say in all these thrifting adventures, what was the coolest find?

I’m gonna say it wasn’t a thrift store, it was a guy doing a garage sale.

He lived in Beverly Hills and he was selling off some cameras. I used to have to work on Fridays and Saturdays, so I could never really get into garage sales, so I often had to call people ahead of time and try to get in on a Thursday morning before I had to go to work. So I called him up, told him my situation and he invited me to come on by. I drove out there to his house (of course it was a nice house). I walked in through the kitchen to his huge den. He had this massive table and it had film cameras all over it.

I remember being so overwhelmed, thinking “Oh, I didn’t bring enough money!” I used to give myself a $40 budget so I could make a profit. He had literally every brand, and said he had been shooting for over 40 years. I think I picked up two Canon AE-1’s with the cases, which he was selling for super cheap like $10. Also a Nikon FG which was a mistake [see our review here]! I should have Googled while I was there. He also had some Nikon FM’s [see our review here] and FE’s [see our review here]. But I just didn’t have the knowledge at that point. But that was definitely the one that caught me the most off guard. It was like a dream come true. If that happened today, I would absolutely kill it.

Now that you’ve found film, what is about film photography that makes you want to keep shooting it?

I think it’s the process, I feel more engaged when I’m shooting film. Each shot needs a little bit more. I know that I’m going to get an image that probably won’t be as easily replicated as it would be if I were shooting digital. It’s funny because just last month I decided to start shooting both film and digital as I build out my portfolio because I went on a paid gig recently. I talked with the Creative Director and told him I shoot film. He said that’s fantastic! I ended up giving him a variety of shots, wide, medium, and close ups of the subject. He did an extreme crop of my wide shot and then he said “You know, it’s not as sharp as I would like it!” And I was said, “Sir! We’re dealing with grain, not pixels here. You just can’t do things like that. It felt like violence against my work!”

I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just use the close up of the subject. But it turned out it was because there was a computer in the wide shot he liked, that was the only reason. It was painful. So I decided, from now on I’m just going to shoot both, just in case. As I’ve been doing it and comparing the two I find that I do still prefer the finished images that are on film. And what I’m doing is I edit my digital photos to look like the film shots. I feel much more satisfied with that. The finished photos still feel like mine. 

I’m the same way, when I do digital I’m often trying to replicate my film style. 

Yeah, when it’s just for me, I’m just shooting film. When I’m walking around, or shooting when I travel it’s just film. But if it’s for the portfolio or a paid gig, I do both just to be sure.

So at what point in your photography journey did you start doing portraits?

I feel like I started with friends. People always say to start with friends because they’ll be the most patient with you. So it started, I used to go to the camera shop a lot (well still do). I’d go there so frequently because I had so many questions, and they knew all the answers! And one of the guys I became friends with, his name is Henry and he was a working photographer. He said he used to mentor students, so I asked him to give me a shot, an assignment. He actually assigned me to go shoot some people; he gave me my first portrait assignment. So I shot three of my friends and two coworkers. And that’s how I got started shooting people, shooting people that I knew.

It was a bit easier for me in the sense that I know a lot of actors and models, people who have profiles so there’s a lot of people who always need pictures. I literally did a shoot with my friend so she could put the photos on her Tinder! She has a boyfriend today though, so I totally take credit for that. As I got more comfortable, walking around, I gravitated towards Venice Beach. I’m drawn to certain scenes and people, and I’d work up my confidence to go up to strangers, start a conversation. Take pictures of them and people I didn’t know, to find things that were unique and interesting. 

That’s awesome! As you mentioned before we got started, you are now starting to explore this as a career. So what are your long range goals with portrait photography?

Long term goals. Man, I don’t do that right now! Only because COVID really messed me up.

That’s true! 2020 really laughed at all our goals.

Yeah I had plans for 2020, and I can tell you not one happened. I still find making long term goals difficult to this day because it feels like at any moment something might change. So right now my goals for the end of September is that my portfolio should be fully flushed out. My website should be updated. I have shoots scheduled through the end of September. By then I plan to start submitting to different magazines and publications and reaching out to people, so that they are aware of me and I can start building up relationships. That’s what I can see for right now!

So I noticed when looking at your portrait work, I love that you are often shooting outside in natural light. How did that preference come to be? Why do you prefer shooting outside rather than in a studio?

That’s funny. On my YouTube channel I’ve started a series, where I’ve been shooting in-studio stuff more because I don’t do it. I need to be a little more well rounded and it’s been such a struggle. I guess the biggest reason why I shoot outside, is because I love the way the California sun is here. I really love summer light because starting at like 5AM to 8:30AM it’s gorgeous. It’s super super vibrant and the way skin interacts with this light, it’s beautiful to me. And just being outside, whether I’m hiking or I’m at the beach or downtown, and the light is being cut and reflected off of glass and buildings I love the way it interacts with people. So I think just me paying attention when I’m out in the community really makes me want to go outside shooting, I want to go out anyway. If I can bring someone with me, it’s even better because that’s really just what makes me happy.

I’m a very active person. When I started this journey of working on my portfolio, I reached out to a photographer I know and they gave me some great advice, “look at the agencies, look at the photos that they have on their websites and make sure the photos you show them are on par.” I ended up reaching out to another photographer I know who does a lot of editorial work, like Time, Vogue, stuff like that. We had coffee and she literally gave me all the steps of what I should do and then had me come out to a photo shoot and assist so I could get the experience. The most important thing she told was, “Shoot like YOU. Don’t shoot like anyone else. Don’t try to shoot in a way like you’ve seen in magazines.”

So as I’ve been doing my in-studio work it has been a struggle. Sometimes when you’re finding studios to book, they totally lie. They’ll claim they get great sunlight but when you go at the advertised best time with clear skies you find there is no sun in the studio. Barely a sliver of sunlight on the wall. And the lights they give you aren’t always that great. So ultimately you’re spending A LOT of money for the good studios, and I’m on a budget. I’ve been having to do a lot of trouble shooting, creative fixes. So far with the studios I’ve used, it’s just made me realize I prefer sunlight, so much more than being in-studio.

I talked to a technician while I was on set for a magazine shoot. We really broke down the lighting. I wanted to get an understanding of how we were creating this sunlight look. He broke down constant light vs. flash photography vs. sunlight, expectations, and what’s possible and what’s not, and what you need to have for these things to happen. For where I am right now, I think it’s best if I stick to sunlight. I don’t have a car, I ride a motorcycle. It’s LA. I don’t want to sit on the 405 and just hate my life. I’d rather zip through traffic and get there on time. So until that changes I don’t think I’m going to go out and buy a professional flash kit because I have no way to haul it, and I have all this sunlight so I want to take advantage of it. 

I think that’s a testament to minimalism and how artists can create so much with minimal gear.

I think a lot of this just comes down to studying light. When I was getting more into portraiture, I studied a lot of photographers that utilize a lot of light. That really helped me as well. There was one I gravitated towards. She was British, Jane Bown. She worked for a news publication. She was known for shooting on an Olympus OM-1 [see our review here] with an 85mm lens, and using natural light. She would find light. If she was in an awful room or something, she would find a lamp, take the shade off, bounce it off a wall, position the person where the light was falling. She has these iconic portraits of celebrities, politicians, all kinds of people using that OM-1 camera and natural light and just figuring it out. I decided, if I could figure out light and how it works and light people properly then I can make some pretty good images. I just try to do my best to find the light. 

Since you’ve mentioned YouTube, that’s actually how I first discovered you! Could you tell us a little bit about how your YouTube channel came to be?

Like I mentioned, I moved out here for the arts. I came to California to finish my higher education in screenwriting. When you go to film school they don’t want you to just have one specialty, they want you to be well rounded. So I had to take editing classes, production classes. Because of that I was in a New Media class which was basically about anything online. One of our projects was to write a web episode. I did and I really liked the storyline so I continued to do about seven episodes of that. I put them on YouTube. I entered them in some festivals and won some stuff but I couldn’t keep that up. It took too long, and the turnaround was so slow. So I was wondering what I could do to still be uploading and creating content, keeping my tools as sharp as possible.

Once I fell into photography I had another Instagram page called the Narrative Nook. I would write out stories and then take stills of the scenes to go along with the prose. I would do little behind the scenes video clips so I decided to put that on my YouTube channel. It started getting tougher and tougher to coordinate with people to keep the stories going. At the same time I was shooting photography more and more, and thought I could take people along with me so they can learn as I’m learning. When I started it I had really only been doing photography for a little over a year, so I was still pretty green. In that space there was no one who looked like me who was doing this. And no one was sharing the experiences I was having. I still feel like to this day I’m one of the only people who share all of my fails. I’m a trial and error kind of person. So that’s how I got started. I just thought, I’ll just share what I’m going through and along the way get some tips from people who know more than me.

I love that you do share everything, even the mistakes!

Well that’s what happens! I don’t have a guru that follows me around. 

Yeah and that’s how you learn! You don’t learn if you don’t make mistakes.

Exactly and I think it’s important to show people that. It’s fine to make mistakes. If you’re not making mistakes then you’re not pushing yourself and you’re not learning. If everything is just always perfect, then you’re not advancing. That’s why I try to normalize it on my channel, because this stuff happens no matter what level you’re at.

The other thing I love about your channel is the variety of videos that you create, whether it’s a camera review, a head to head comparison, or behind the scenes of a photo shoot. How do you find inspiration for your videos and how do you decide what video you want to create next?

It’s very organic, tailor made to what’s happening in my life. If someone asks me if I want to try out a camera, I’m like heck yeah! I have a friend that owns a camera shop so I have access to try out a lot of new cameras and I have another friend who owns over 100 cameras that I can use too. So for me it’s very organic, just trying cameras out for the first time. And if I’m doing a shoot, I’ll show the behind the scenes because it’s fun. The head to head video came about because I was looking for a 645 camera and didn’t know which one to go with. I had two friends who had the Mamiya [see our review here] and the Pentax [see our review here], and I figured the best way to decide is to do a head to head cause you can only do so much research online. It’s a good starting place but ultimately I need to see how they’re going to work with my workflow, so that’s where that video came from.

But what’s funny is I didn’t end up getting either of those cameras! They were great cameras but neither spoke to me or felt like my camera. I think that’s something a lot of people ignore when buying cameras. They just think, oh my favorite photographer shoots this camera, so I NEED this camera. They force it on themselves. But I don’t do that anymore. When I first started everyone wanted an AE-1. I got several but I could never fall in love with it. It never got me super hyped to shoot it and I was never over the moon with the results.

Utilizing different cameras and not being a brand groupie is more conducive to you as an artist. You can’t treat these cameras like they’re the holy grail. They’re just tools. You’re the artist. They have to work for you. So I think it’s good to try out different tools and see if they fit you. So that’s how my style came about on my channel. Just trying different cameras, seeing if they work for me, telling people about these cameras. Also I wanted to show people the money behind photography, because photography can be expensive but you can get into it relatively cheaply and still produce quality images while you’re learning and working your way up. So I made a lot of videos that showed people how to go about doing these things and not get overwhelmed trying to keep up with other photographers. So that’s what I try to do on my channel. Get people excited, help them get their foot in the door.

When I first discovered your channel last year you were in the middle of doing a social media detox for a full year. What did you feel were the benefits of taking that year long break and what do you feel are social media’s effects on the film photography community, for good or bad?

I’ve had a lot of time to think about this! I took my break because I felt like there was too much noise in my life. I’m a creative that is very intuitive, and I need clarity to be able to create. I’ve been working on a novel for three years. I was getting really frustrated. I was on my fourth or fifth draft. Unfortunately I’m a perfectionist so I know where it really needs to be for me to be satisfied. I reached out to one of my mentors, I asked her about how it was taking me so long and how I was having a hard time sitting down and hearing my characters’ voices. She told me that every artist’s process is different. Every artist’s path is different. She mentioned she had been working on a book for five years which made me feel better but I still like to put myself on deadlines so I feel like I’m progressing.

My writing is very important to me. And that clarity is very important to me. So I needed less noise in 2020. I also knew we were entering the election year and I didn’t want to hear any of it since I was already tired of all the noise leading up to it in 2019. I thought it was bringing the worst out of people. I just needed quiet. I wanted to read books. I wanted to learn from people who had lived longer lives than me and had more experiences than I did. So that’s pretty much what I did during my social media break in 2020. I read about 70+ books. I studied a lot. I took some workshops. I learned how to copyright through a workshop. I took an online business class. I was just really trying to become more well rounded. I got a lot of photography books. Looked more into artists I really like. I studied light. I walked around outside. Took photos. I meditated. Just tried to get really quiet so I could hear my voice across my arts, and not be influenced.

I think often as people we don’t realize how much we let outside forces influence the art that we produce. I listened to this podcast called Entrepreneurs on Fire, and they had this guest who had this fantastic quote, “How can we be creators when we’re always consuming?” That really resonated. We’re consuming daily. You go on Instagram, you’re consuming other people’s content. You go on Twitter and you’re consuming other people’s words and viewpoints. Go to the news you’re consuming whatever side that news organization represents. You’re always consuming. How often do people just sit with themselves and journal or meditate or ask themselves questions? I didn’t want to be afraid of stillness.

For some people, being off social media for a year was incredibly frustrating because I couldn’t talk about pop culture, memes, or television. I couldn’t engage on those levels but I could engage on different levels and I could get people to talk about things they’ve never thought about talking about before because it’s not a part of their normal consumption. I feel like social media forced people to actually call me and have conversations. A lot of people don’t call people anymore, they just message on social media. And that’s cool, but it’s not very personal or as intimate as calling them and asking how they are. I feel like those connections are being lost which is funny since social media was created to connect people.

I feel like my year off social media got me to reconnect with people and got me more excited about shooting people. It was an interesting year. I definitely grew and changed in that year. The biggest thing I learned was how important communication and connection is, and finding your voice and filtering the amount of noise in your life.

You’re a very artistic person. Outside of shooting film you’re also a writer and went to film school. What do you do to nourish your artistic soul?

I like to go to museums. I’m a big museum fan! And luckily LA has a lot of museums, and a lot of them have free days. I also like hiking and being out in nature, I’m big on that. Like a good hike in the Santa Monica Mountains. I like going to the beach, and on long motorcycle rides. I love traveling which I find is really conducive to creativity. And music! More instrumental, a lot of classical stuff I’ve been listening to lately.

As we’re winding down here, any other big projects you’re working on or excited to tackle in the near future?

This year I should be done with the sixth draft of my novel, so I’m looking forward to that! I probably won’t know what to do with myself after it’s done. I’m more than halfway done with it at this point. So I’m looking forward to finishing that and sending it out to some agencies for representation. So that’s the next big big project I’m working on that’s finally winding down. If I finish that by the end of this year, I’ll probably feel like I can float!

That’s exciting! What’s the novel about?

It’s a coming of age story about a young woman who grew up in the foster care system in Oakland. Her mother dies while in prison but she leaves her this novel that has this inscription from a Pulitzer prize winning author who teaches at an East Coast school. So she works really hard to get into that school to meet that author and learn about her mother, and they end up forming a relationship as she uncovers the story of her mother.

That’s amazing! Well I’ll keep positive vibes this will be the final draft for you. I’m sure we’d all love to read it. Before I let you go, is there anything else you’d like to share or where can we find you?

You can find me on YouTube as Talya Adams. I haven’t posted as frequently this year but that’s because I’m doing other things and figuring out life. I have a lot of videos I have shot that I just haven’t gotten to, so they will be going up at some point. I’m also on Instagram, and I write on Medium where I talk about photography, artistry, social media, basically whatever I want to! And my website is here. That’s pretty much where I am. I also wanted to say, I’ve really enjoyed this! When I looked up your series I thought it was really dope. I knew I had to do this because I really love women supporting women, and I think there needs to be more of that especially in photography!

Get Inspired

For more stories behind the images and photography from the community check out the many series we’ve published over the years below!

Featured Photophile – we shine a spotlight on amateur photographers whose work we love.

Photographer Interviews – in-depth discussions with professional and established photogs doing great work.

Female Photographers to Follow – get inspired by a monthly series focused on the beautiful and unique perspectives of female photographers.

Five Favorite Photos – a hand-selected examination of the oeuvre of ur favorite famous photographers.

Follow Casual Photophile on Facebook and Instagram

[Some of the links in this article will direct users to our affiliates at B&H Photo, Amazon, and eBay. By purchasing anything using these links, Casual Photophile may receive a small commission at no additional charge to you. This helps Casual Photophile produce the content we produce. Many thanks for your support.]

The post Talya Adams – Interview with the Photographer appeared first on Casual Photophile.